squidpants

so my boss sent me this today, pretty funny.

Top 20 most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work:

21. I was sprayed by a skunk.
20. I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
19. My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
18. I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
17. I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
16. I couldn't find my shoes.
15. I hurt myself bowling.
14. I was spit on by a venomous snake.
13. I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
12. A hit-man was looking for me.
11. My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
10. I eloped.
9. My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
8. My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
7. I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
6. I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.
5. I forgot what day of the week it was.
4. Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
3. A tree fell on my car.
2. My monkey died.

1. I locked myself in my own apartment!