1/13/2006

so this isn't safe for work - my pal Jess told me about this, it is pretty bizarre - this actor Vincent Gallo is selling his sperm for only a million dollars. And if you want him to have sex with you instead of going through the normal in vitro fertilization procedure, you can pay him an extra $500,000. What a good deal!

The guy is basically only famous for making this movie, The Brown Bunny, which got press because it has a very graphic scene of Chloe Sevigny performing oral services on him, if you get my drift - actually doing it to him, no prosthesis or anything. So it's like this:

Vince: "Uh hey, like I am a director of a movie and stuff. You are like a hot chick, so I want you to be in the movie."

Chloe: "Ok, that sounds good. What do I need well to?"

Vince: "Well like, the first scene, you have to give me a blowjob."

Chloe: "Ok. So how do I simulate that? Is there some kind of life-like plastic thing?"

Vince: "Uh, like, no, you really have to do it to me. It's really important to the movie and stuff."


The movie was called the worst movie ever to be in the Cannes film festival.

But besides that ridiculous crap (and some movie called Buffalo 66, which I have only heard of because Christina Ricci is in it), the ad for his sperm is really bizarre - he basically says no blacks, descendents of Nazi soldiers get a discount, if you are Jewish then you'll probably get good reviews in Hollywood, and no ugly chicks. Sounds like a winner.

He must really be hurting for cash, because he's selling a lot of other weird crap - a glove from a motorcycle race he was in, his blanky from when he was a kid, etc.

And the site seems legit too, as it's linked from what purports to be his official webpage. Weird.

6 comments:

Jinxy said...

Buffalo 66 was garbage, but the critics loved it at the time.

jenny said...

buffalo 66 is a great movie.

Andrew said...

i think we have a debate here. how did you like the brown bunny?

jess said...

Apparently the two were dating at the time, thus why chloe sevigny agreed to be immortalized in that particular manner

And what, no gratuitous mention of Christina Ricci's assets, drew? I thought I knew you!

Yet you impugn Gothamist's integrity, hmm. Aren't you the DCist fan? Quite the dilemma.

Gallo is craaaazy, like a fox! But a creepy fox.

Andrew said...

Yeah, that was the implication of mentioning Christina Ricci. The reason I'd see that movie would be for Christina Ricci and her two pals.

dave said...

actually doods, buffalo 66 is a pretty good movie. you should watch it. it will be really fun for you. like really fun.