squidpants

so i'm trying to grow a beard but it's not working too well - it's a lot thicker on the left side of my face than on my right. it's weird, i don't really know why it does that, since it's not like i got a face transplant or anything. if i really want to have an even beard, i think i'll have to give the right side a few days' head start. maybe i sleep on the right side of my face or something and that keeps the hair from growing as fast. or maybe my parents just gave me crooked genes.