squidpants

so I drove through Virginia a couple times this christmas, and I have to say, Virginia has a lot of weird signs along the interstate. The first one I saw was one saying "Entering Virginia's Technology Corridor." That's a fine idea, and would make sense if it were in Northern Virginia, where companies like Worldcom and AOL area based, but it's actually in rural Southwestern Virginia, including technology hotbeds like Pulaski and Botetourt Counties (pronounced bot-ee-tot, a cool name). The sign announcing you are entering the corridor is not in a town or next to a computer factory or anything, it's in a hilly area with no houses around, and the only technological thing you see is a cell phone tower. So I guess the cell phone tower is the most high tech thing these folks have seen in awhile, so they decided to dedicate a corridor.

Another sign I like are "Entering Highway Safety Corridor" and "Leaving Highway Safety Corridor." Virginians sure seem to like their corridors. There's only one of these corridors on the entire trip and it's about two miles long. This sounds to me like my complaint about Drug Free Zones: does this mean that the highway is dangerous everywhere except for this 2 mile safety corridor? Why not make the entire highway a safety corridor? And what makes the highway safer here? Are the trees along the road soft and squishy? Are the rocks illusions?

And then there's the "Certified Business Location" signs, when you go into a town or county, like "Welcome to Roanoke, a Certified Business Location." But not all of the towns and counties are "Certified Business Locations," which I guess means they are free to rip you off in those places. Or maybe there aren't any businesses there, just people bartering stuff. "I'll mow your lawn for a foot-long meatball sub."

And finally, the other signs they have for going into and out of the town of Salem are funny. Enstead of "Entering Salem" and "Leaving Salem," it's an order; the signs say "Enter Salem" and "Leave Salem." I want to get a spray can and write "OR ELSE" on them. And what's even funnier is that the border of the town of Salem seems to cross the Interstate a few times, because you pass 3 or 4 "Leave Salem" signs, but there aren't any corresponding "Enter Salem" signs. It looks like they don't want anyone to visit. Maybe it's because Salem is also part of the Technology Corridor, and the residents are busy working at such high-tech places as the Shoney's and Waffle House.