so I heard the greatest news ever to come out of the Washington Nationals baseball club: they traded Ryan Church. Church was an absolute chump, my (and a bunch of my friends') least favorite Nat by far. He had mediocre stats (his .272 with 70 rbis last season), is getting up there at 28, and was so un-clutch player it was out of control. It seemed like any time I watched him and there were men on base he'd either strike out (107 on the year, 2nd on the team) or hit into a double play. When he was up with one or two outs you might as well go to the bathroom or get some food.

He ruined a no-hitter by the Nats awhile ago by flubbing a play in the outfield and tearing his pants in the process, and was just generally crummy. There was some other game I was at when the Nats were tied or ahead and they put Church in the outfield. I said something like "well there goes the game, Church is in." He then flubbed a play, made a bad throw, and lo and behold the Nats were down. I screamed "CHURCH YOU SUCK!" (I was sitting in the front row) and I think he heard me. Statistics just don't show his terribleness.

For example, here is a typical Church play, from DCist

Ramon Ortiz threw a potential double-play ball into center field, allowing a run to score, and Ryan Church nearly fell down fielding a ball in center—turning a 1-run single into a 2-run double.

I said many many times during the season that they should trade Church for a box of balls or a couple of bags of grass seed or a pizza, so it's not really important who the Nats got. However, this was actually good too, as the team received Lastings Milledge from the Mets, who is a young and gifted, but apparently kind of troubled, outfielder. The Yahoo article says his teammates didn't like him much and posted a note in their locker room (when they were at RFK coincidentally) that said "Know your place rook -Your Teammates." But hopefully he can get that stuff in line. Dmitri Young had some issues before he came to the Nats but has been fine since he arrived, and is a fan favorite. Apparently Church is going to start for the Mets in right field. Sorry Mets, welcome to suck.

The only bad part about the trade is that the Nats gave up Brian Scheider, a gritty catcher who, unlike Church, got a lot of clutch hits. He also seemed to handle the pitching staff well. I guess that means youngster Jesus Flores will catch. Flores was decent offensively in his limited time, but I thought Schneider was better with the pitchers and defensively.

And apparently the Nats are looking into Andruw Jones and Corey Patterson, which would be cool.

But who cares, Church is gone!

so I like to send text messages. However, I hate my phone's T9 predictive text thing. For one, it doesn't have bad words. Instead I get "duck" and "shiv." Thanks a lot, Verizon. And when I type "hey" it always suggests "hew." Do people really use the word "hew" that often? Unless the phone is only used by lumberjacks, I doubt it.

It also doesn't do conjunctions well, so it looks like I have bad grammar: "Im going, dont know if shes gonna go or not." To add insult to injury, it suggests "dnot" first instead of "dont." Every now and then it'll suggest one with an apostrophe, but it seems random. And I just discovered today that if I try to type "emailed" it suggests "emailde" first. That's not even a word!

Maybe I just don't know how to use it, but it's annoying. And there doesn't seem to be a "learn word" feature, which would be useful for work and cursing. Duck Verizon.

so it's pretty funny to read the keywords people search for when they find my blog. Here are a few, with my explanations:

-flex plexico (I wrote about this guy awhile ago)
-dirt mcgirt chips (wrote about Lil Romeo chips)
-jammy space invaders blogspot (???)
-funny registered names for dogs (wrote about this twice)
-sc schwerzenbach jacket (mentioned this briefly)
-name of rap group that has a midget (the little superstar video, I guess)
-mr goodbar hershey personality (I wondered why there are no full size Krackel bars)
-word to your mom (no explanation needed)
-what happened to bud dry (good question)
-what song do harold and kumar end up jamming to in the suv? (i mentioned the movie, but not the song)
-trip to fucking, austria (this)

so I'm watching college football on ESPN, and the stadium for Troy University is called "Movie Gallery Veterans Stadium." This is an example of naming rights gone wrong. It sounds like there are veterans of the movie gallery, and it's pretty damn lame to match the two together. I don't think there's a Movie Gallery Day national holiday, for example.

Cholesterol

Cholesterol
Originally uploaded by squidpants

So I saw this at CVS the other day. What the hell? What's next, Gingivitis Brand Hand Soap? Athlete's Foot Nasal Spray? Earwax Shampoo?

so this is a pretty hilarious website: passiveaggressivenotes.com. Just what it sounds like. Apparently the note to the right was from a girlfriend to her boyfriend. Man, I would break up with her immediately if I got that.

Also, Wikipedia rules. Did you know that there's a statue of Uma Thurman's grandmother at the southernmost part of Sweden? No? How about that there's a Mount Terror in both Antarctica and Washington state? Or that the island of Saba looks really awesome? Well consider that small section of your brain filled now.

so here's a video. Italian Spiderman.

Italian Spiderman Trailer

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Red Rocks
Originally uploaded by IntangibleArts

so I went to some newish places in Columbia Heights and Petworth recently.

The Red Derby is a new little bar at 14th and Spring in Petworth, and it's pretty cool. It has a good atmosphere, kinda neighborhoody and laid back, and they have beers only in cans, which is neat. It's cheaper, for one, and they have a good variety - everything from Natty Boh ($2) to Dale's Pale Ale to Brooklyn and Boddington's and Guinness. They also had some Belgian pilsner and a bunch of other things, with the most expensive being $5 or $6. Plus cans mean you won't get a skunky beer. The staff was really friendly and they have pretty good grub - fried macaroni and cheese, sweet potato fries, and the usual burger, chicken fingers, etc. There's a pool table in the back too. It's a neat place and I'd like to hang out there more often.

Red Rocks is a small pizza place at 11th and Park in Columbia Heights. It also has a nice atmosphere, with a few tables and a little bar, a patio, and I think a second floor (not sure). The pizzas were good, if a little stingy on ingredients - the pesto one didn't have much pesto, and the other one we got didn't have much meat. It was pretty good, but I prefer Radius or Matchbox. But it's close and nice.

so I almost got in a fight a minute ago. I was walking down the sidewalk from McDonalds, and a guy was coming towards me and my coworker. I moved to the left and the guy moved the same way, so we both had to stop. It happens a million times every day and nothing comes of it - somebody moves, no biggie.

However, this guy said "get out the way" angrily, which pissed me off. He walked by and I shrugged in the "what the hell" way, so he stopped and we argued a bit. He said I should have got out the way, do I think I'm special (or something to that extent) and I said he didn't have to be rude about it, excuse me would be fine. I said whatever and kept walking, and he yelled that I was a "trick," which is a pretty lame insult if you ask me. Might as well just call me a "boogerhead" or something.

It always amazes me how people act like assholes for no reason whatsoever. I guess this guy has to act tough to feel better about himself or to make him think he has control of his life or something. I probably shouldn't have raised my arms in hindsight, but whatever.

so I got a new CD in the mail, "Volcano" by Hot Springs. They're a two-girl, two-guy band from Montreal who play loud, not-quite-garage rock. Singer/guitarist Giselle Webber is the driving force on the album - her bluesy, scratchy voice elevates otherwise straightforward garage rockers like "Head Rush" and draw the focus on the others, like "Fantôme Dinosaure," a catchy French-language stomper.

Her somewhat accented vocals remind me of Karen O's wail when they're loud (the carnival-rock "Tiny Islands,") Bjork when they're quieter ("Fog and the Horn,") and Cerys Matthews from Catatonia in between. The lyrics are sometimes hard to understand due to Webber's accent and vibrato, but it's an interesting effect, and they're amusing when you can understand them - "she drinks salt water and cocaine/told me it put hairs on her brain," on "38th Adventure."

Hot Springs sound like one of those bands that could tear a place apart, and the live reviews seem to hold up that notion - calling them "lunatic", "thrillingly intense" and so on. And in a recent show, they covered themselves in mud. I'd like to see them.

They have their own Flickr account too.

so it's that time of year again - my bi-annual "Spring Forward-Fall Back Is Stupid" post. And guess what - it's stupid.

I really don't see the point for it - it gets dark around 5 pm, meaning every office in the country has to turn on their lights earlier. It also means it gets colder, so everybody runs their heating more. It means fewer people go out shopping or to get exercise. At least the government decided to delay it a little longer this year, but they really should delay it indefinitely. It just seems like a relic of the past.

Wikipedia says "Adding daylight to afternoons generally benefits retailing, sports, and other activities that exploit sunlight after working hours,[1] but it can cause problems for farmers and others whose hours depend on the sun.[2] Extra afternoon daylight appears to cut traffic fatalities;[3] its effect on health and crime is less clear. An early goal was to reduce evening usage of incandescent lighting, formerly a primary use of electricity;[4] nowadays, though, DST sometimes increases overall electricity costs and peak demand." They also mention lower crime and more when it stays light later.

So there are tons of benefits to keeping it lighter later, and apparently the only benefit is to farmers. Hey farmers: eat it. Grow up and set your alarms early to get up an hour earlier. They always say the farmers' day starts when the chickens (or is it cows) wake up, so who cares what time it is? If it's dark out and a rooster is crowing, does it matter if it's 5 am or 6 am or 7 am? No. Farmers can get bent and deal with it.

so I went to Berkeley and SF awhile ago and went to a little breakfast/coffee shop place called Sconehenge. I thought that was pretty funny. If I opened a bakery I'd call it Everybody Must Get Sconed.

so Halloween is my favorite holiday, hands down. Everybody has fun, and there's rarely any crap going on, like people being sad on Valentine's Day, family feuds on Christmas and Thanksgiving, and so on. The whole goal of the day is to dress like something funny (or unoriginally sexy, for some girls), and that's awesome. I pretty much never stop laughing on Halloween, and I plan my costume way in advance to get something good. People who don't dress up, however, I am suspicious of. Maybe they're commies. And plus, there's tons of candy. It's pretty much the best holiday possible.

And here's a good video: