squidpants

so it appears i have made a new friend, or something. about a month ago this girl IMed me out of nowhere with "hey girl, do u like trevor????" i said "trevor who?" or something, and then decided to go with it for awhile "i dunno, he's allright" and stuff. i learned the girl iming me was named "krysta" and she thought i was somebody named tracey, because she said something like "tracey U R so crazy!!!", so i went with it for awhile and asked random questions, but nothing too revealing or anything. then i got bored and decided to say that I wasn't actually tracey and I don't know who you are, i.e. "i live in d.c. and i don't know who you are. why do i have all this weird stuff in my profile, huh, krysta?" which she thought was really funny and responded with "whatever girl, see u at school" and logged off. every now and then she'll IM me while i'm at work and say something about my away messages, which i assume don't make any sense to her since I am talking about looking for a roommate in adams morgan and going to basketball games and stuff. apparently she lives in michigan (at least that's what her AIM directory thing says). so the other day she imed me again, and i decided to save the conversation. good stuff. the stuff in parentheses are comments by me, they weren't in the conversation.

BurkeShire20: read my pro when u see this

Auto response from SQUIDPANTS: poop = best word ever

(her profile said "I am gonna make a book of tracey's random away messages, LOL!!!"

SQUIDPANTS: haha, cool
BurkeShire20: lol
SQUIDPANTS: except i'm not tracey
BurkeShire20: here we go again
SQUIDPANTS: haha. i'm serious.
SQUIDPANTS: who are you
SQUIDPANTS: doesn't it seem weird that none of my away messages make any sense to you
BurkeShire20: the qustion is who r u
BurkeShire20: ?
SQUIDPANTS: well you started iming me
SQUIDPANTS: my name is drew
SQUIDPANTS: i mean, steve
BurkeShire20: im sure
SQUIDPANTS: yah so what's up girl
SQUIDPANTS: you should put that novel on your website
(long pause)
SQUIDPANTS: alright, bye
BurkeShire20: bye drew
BurkeShire20: i mean steve
BurkeShire20: l oo
BurkeShire20: i need 2 use the lou
SQUIDPANTS: see ya samantha
SQUIDPANTS: awesome
BurkeShire20:
BurkeShire20:
SQUIDPANTS: those are blank
BurkeShire20: whoa, dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BurkeShire20: who is samantha?
SQUIDPANTS: i dunno, who is drew or steve
BurkeShire20: u
BurkeShire20: dudey\]
SQUIDPANTS: huh?
BurkeShire20: tuti fruti
SQUIDPANTS: automatic bazooty
(those are some beck lyrics in my profile)
SQUIDPANTS: that's a beck song
BurkeShire20: lol tracey lol u suck at basketball
BurkeShire20: jk
SQUIDPANTS: whatever, they call me shaqette
BurkeShire20: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
SQUIDPANTS: they call you krysta bryant. you know, like kobe
SQUIDPANTS: or that guy who is in jail for smoking pot all the time, that's you
BurkeShire20: your gay
BurkeShire20: l
BurkeShire20: o
BurkeShire20: l
SQUIDPANTS: damn you are mean
SQUIDPANTS: you make me sad :'(
BurkeShire20: meirdo
(i think she is trying to say "shit" in spanish here)
SQUIDPANTS: well, kolomdo to you
(that is nonsense)
SQUIDPANTS: hey what's your website again, i lost the address
(i figured i'd look at her website, if she has one, to have something to talk about)
BurkeShire20: ¿Por qué jura usted en mí? (i think this means "why are you swearing at me?")
SQUIDPANTS: que significa jura (what does "jura" mean?)
BurkeShire20: yo no tengo un sitio web (I don't have a website)
SQUIDPANTS: y es "mierdo", no "meirdo" (and it's "mierdo", not "meirdo")
SQUIDPANTS: creo que lo tienes (i believe that you have one)
BurkeShire20: ok
BurkeShire20: gtg eat
BurkeShire20: buh byew
BurkeShire20: bye
SQUIDPANTS: ok adios girl
BurkeShire20 signed off at 6:44:32 PM.

man, that is hours of fun. i considered saying something like "krysta, i don't know how to tell you this, but i've been attracted to you for a long time," but i figure that would probably be bad.