squidpants

So I went on a road trip to New Hampshire for the primaries, and I think I discovered a few rules for road trips, or at least a few things I thought were really annoying. First off, one of the guys I drove up with would read or comment on everything he saw. “Oh, that’s a nice house… Dunkin Donuts… look, a cow.” That shit is annoying, I can see for myself, dammit, I don’t need you telling me everything like we are in that “Hear No Evil” movie with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder where one is deaf and the other one is blind and they have to do stuff together. And along those lines, I don’t care if you are going to make a cell phone call while in the car, but the car isn’t your personal phone booth. This one girl called every one of her friends, it was ridiculous. “Yeah, I’m in New Hampshire! I’m working for Kerry! I saw so and so,” etc etc, it was the same conversation, then they’d gossip about people. After awhile it became kind of amazing, because she talked from New Hampshire to New Jersey. But still, cut it out. And I also learned that you should only take road trips with people who share roughly the same musical tastes as you. I don’t want to listen to fucking Train or the new J. Lo song or have you flip through most of the first Weezer CD because you want to hear “Buddy Holly.” I guess I could have told them to stop, but I didn’t want to be an asshole. Maybe that should be a road trip rule too: the driver can be an asshole.

And now it’s joke time:

Three CEOs of North America's major beer companies (Molson, Budweiser, and Corona) are at a meeting in St. Louis for a beer conference. After a long day at the conference, they all see each other at the hotel bar. The corona chief says to the bartender "I'll have a Corona, the finest cerveza in the world" and so he gets a Corona. The Anheuser Busch chief then says to the bartender, "I'll have a Budweiser, the king of all beers" and gets a Bud. Then the CEO of Molson says to the bartender "I'll have a Coke please." The other CEOs look at him, stunned. "Why did you order a Coke?" the Corona guy asks. And the Molson guy says "well, I figured since the rest of you aren't drinking beer, I won't either."