squidpants

So there are all these weird sounds at my office that no one else seems to pay attention to. Every few days there’s a crying baby, which is odd, because there’s no child care in here or anything, and there doesn’t seem to be any pattern to it. And there’s this guy with an extremely loud cackle of a laugh, which you can hear anywhere on the floor, but only I seem to think his laugh is funny and mock it. Or maybe only I am juvenile. And there’s also a bird chirp sometimes, which is pretty bizarre, it sounds like the bird is in the room, not on the windowsill or something. I guess someone could have an extremely lifelike phone ring, but in that case, change your damn ring! It’s annoying. And I’m sure people have told you that already. Sometimes the phones seem to reset and go to super-mega loud volume for the rings, which is pretty annoying. So you hear then “BRAARRR BRARRR” and then “shit!” and someone turns it down. And then there’s a really loud alarm that just goes off for no reason apparently, and no one seems to mind. “Oh, we’re being burglarized again. Wait until he leaves.” Sometimes it goes off for a couple minutes before someone shuts it off, or it goes off or whatever. And no one ever seems to notice that someone is knocking on the door except me, so even though I am 10 cubicles from the door, I always open it, and then people are pissy because I took so long. “Whatever, if you aren’t cool enough to get a magnetic card to swipe yourself in, then you aren’t worth hurrying,” is my response. Well, that’s the response I think of. I don’t usually say it.