12/12/2003

so i think disclaimers at the end of TV commercials are getting ridiculous. I remember the first one I ever saw was on a commercial for "Guess Who," that board game from the late 80s or early 90s where you had all these cards with drawings of faces on them and you had to guess which card the other player had. Well, during the commercial the cards were animated and they’d say stuff when kids asked questions, like the kid would ask “Does your person have a beard?” and one of the cards would say “Nope, see you later!” and the card would fall over. “Does your person have blonde hair?” “I sure do!”, et cetera, and then the victorious kid would say “Hey, you’re Darrell!!” Then at the end of the commercial there was a voiceover saying “game pieces do not actually talk.” I thought that was pretty hilarious, what kind of dummy would think they did? “Mommy!! This toy doesn’t work!! I asked who wore glasses and nobody said anything!!” And another disclaimer I remember vividly was for some SUV. it seems like car commercials always have the most and the stupidest disclaimers. so this car was driving through a horse racing course, the kind with the stuff the horses jump over, like brick walls and hedges, with some energetic type music playing, probably Led Zeppelin, since they're all Led Zeppelin now. anyway, it was splashing through puddles and crashing through hedges and the only disclaimer was "not a regulation horse race course." what the hell??? who cares? does that have any effect on this car whatsoever? unless they were saying it's ok to crash your car through regulation horse racing courses, but not through non-regulations ones? why not have the usual "professional driver, do not attempt" thing they usually have? that commercial boggled my mind. but the most recent one i saw was also for some truck, it was pulling a boat which morphed into a camper, then another car, then a flatbed thing with lots of wood on it, i guess showing that the truck was powerful or had a lot of "torque" or whatever that shit is. that's all well and good, but then there was a disclaimer that said "picture simulated". so wait, this truck doesn't come with a boat that transforms into a camper and then into a car!? that is false advertising! I want this truck to pull optimus prime, not a damn boat. i can't believe how stupid advertisers think we are and what inane shit they think they need to include in ads. but now i think i'm going to go have a conversation with my memory game for kids while crashing my SUV through some regulation hedges.

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