squidpants

so I got this junk email today with the subject "Make money in your underwear!" I assume this means that if you do whatever it is they are selling, you can make so much money at home that you won't even need to get dressed and you can sit around being lazy and getting rich. however, when i first saw it i thought that if you buy whatever they are selling, you can create dollar bills inside your underpants. or small change. this kind of worries me, as firstly i don't want to use counterfeit money, since i might get caught, and secondly, i don't want to handle money that was on someone's balls. or even worse areas, since either it would stink or i'd catch something. i mean, i would guess you'd do this while you're wearing them, since otherwise the underwear wouldn't really stand up, unless they were really dirty or frozen. and i assume this money would be counterfeit, as i've been to the mint and seen the big machines they use to make the money, and i don't remember seeing any people running around in underwear, unless maybe they were in a vault so no one kidnaps them. kind of like in "minority report," they are special mutant people who have a high tolerance for dying their privates. dying as in using dye, not as in killing, since i would assume most people have no tolerance for that. or then again, maybe this email is an ad for underwear modeling. in which case i think a better subject for the email would be "you are so attractive you ought to be an underwear model", since that sucks up to whoever is reading the email. and thank you, i have considered that in the past, but no one has approached me about it until now.