squidpants

so i was watching ESPN tonight, at 2 am, and they were showing riding lawnmower racing. first off, i didn't know that existed. second, why is it on tv? i'd rather watch ping pong or something. but at least it's not poker, i guess. and third, how does a person become a lawnmower racer? these guys were organized, they had sponsors and stuff. i mean, i've seen lawnmower drill teams at parades and stuff as a joke, but racing? and furthermore, where do they find commentators for these shows? do they put ads out in riding lawnmower magazines? maybe there's an espn dreamjob show for riding lawnmower racing. it seems like some day everything will be a sport. they already have adult kickball, professional eating, waiter competitions, air guitar contests, karaoke championships, and races on beds. what's next? will there be fastest fucking contests? teeth-brushing? pooping? i would do alright at some of those, but better at a beer bottle collection contest.