squidpants

so i am getting pretty sick of the water cooler at work. it seems like the only time the tank gets changed is when i change it, everyone else in the office, probably 50 people, would rather sit and wait for the water to slowly drip into their cup than replace the jug. it's not like i know some amazing and difficult skill, you just pick it up and flip it on. anyone with the ability to lift 10 pounds can do it, and anyone with more coordination than manute bol can flip it into place. i think i am going to write a note offering training courses on how to replace the water jug. maybe i will print up certificates: "I, the undersigned, am no longer a lazy jackass." it's like i am some kind of provider, the god of water. "Here, my thirsty ones, come drink! Let me provide this water to you." "Oh thank you, water god." Now i just need to get some concubines and nymphs and stuff.