Washington Nationals drinking game

so I wrote up a drinking game for The Onion that you can play while watching Washington Nationals games on TV. Enjoy.

CJ Wilson has hilarious facial hair

so I was setting my fantasy baseball team lineup and clicked on the CJ Wilson's profile to see his stats - he's a pitcher for the Rangers.

And look at this dude, he looks hilarious. Goofy facial hair and a weird smirk, like he's saying "yeah, my facial hair is sweet. Look at it." He also kind of looks like Paul Rudd. Well done, sir.

The Onion burns the Nats

so i saw this today, pretty funny. It's one of the Onion's info graphics.

Baseball Stadium Names

so I was looking through my old emails and saw that I wrote this in 2004 - it's my suggestions for names for the Nationals' ballpark. It still kind of fits, since the stadium is currently called "Nationals Park." Here's what I wrote back in the day:

Baseball is returning to the District and with it comes a new stadium. And just like your garage band back in middle school, the first thing that stadium will need is a name. Here are a few suggestions for the future owners to consider.

Worldcom Park: It was hip for a few years for dotcom companies to buy the naming rights of stadiums, like the Baltimore Ravens' Psinet Stadium. Psinet, whatever it was, went bust and the stadium was renamed. Worldcom Park honors the D. C. area's important role in the dotcom bubble while providing some funds for the team. (To be renamed MCI Park in three years or when they become solvent, whichever comes first).

Anthony Williams Field: the only major league park with a bowtie-shaped outfield.

Pete Rose Stadium: If Ronald Reagan can fire air traffic controllers and still get an airport named after him, why not a baseball stadium named for famous bettor Charlie Hustle?

Ballpark Franks Ballpark: Hot dog companies have deep pockets that plump when you cook 'em.

city living, DC style! Field: Furthering our beloved motto by showing everyone how much fun industrial areas are.

Walter Johnson Stadium: Named for a famous local high school.

The Ballpark Not in Anacostia: Reminding jittery suburbanites where the stadium actually is (west of the Potomac) while teasing the Texas Rangers, who were the Washington Senators from 1968 to 1971. (Possible alternate: The Ballpark Not In Arlington)

Jumbo Slice Field: If the Real Jumbo Slice, Original Jumbo Slice, and Real Original Jumbo Slice chains pool their money, they may be able to come up with enough to memorialize their contribution to DC cuisine.

"Bitch Set Me Up!" Memorial Stadium: No explanation necessary.

And whatever names our future sports moguls choose, a Peter Angelos Memorial Port-a-John should be included.

so this is pretty funny. A Washington Nationals preview using the Wu Tang Clan.



I've never heard of Pete Orr though. Maybe I missed something.

so I saw this on TV yesterday and thought it was pretty hilarious.



Dmitri Young rules.

so I heard the greatest news ever to come out of the Washington Nationals baseball club: they traded Ryan Church. Church was an absolute chump, my (and a bunch of my friends') least favorite Nat by far. He had mediocre stats (his .272 with 70 rbis last season), is getting up there at 28, and was so un-clutch player it was out of control. It seemed like any time I watched him and there were men on base he'd either strike out (107 on the year, 2nd on the team) or hit into a double play. When he was up with one or two outs you might as well go to the bathroom or get some food.

He ruined a no-hitter by the Nats awhile ago by flubbing a play in the outfield and tearing his pants in the process, and was just generally crummy. There was some other game I was at when the Nats were tied or ahead and they put Church in the outfield. I said something like "well there goes the game, Church is in." He then flubbed a play, made a bad throw, and lo and behold the Nats were down. I screamed "CHURCH YOU SUCK!" (I was sitting in the front row) and I think he heard me. Statistics just don't show his terribleness.

For example, here is a typical Church play, from DCist

Ramon Ortiz threw a potential double-play ball into center field, allowing a run to score, and Ryan Church nearly fell down fielding a ball in center—turning a 1-run single into a 2-run double.

I said many many times during the season that they should trade Church for a box of balls or a couple of bags of grass seed or a pizza, so it's not really important who the Nats got. However, this was actually good too, as the team received Lastings Milledge from the Mets, who is a young and gifted, but apparently kind of troubled, outfielder. The Yahoo article says his teammates didn't like him much and posted a note in their locker room (when they were at RFK coincidentally) that said "Know your place rook -Your Teammates." But hopefully he can get that stuff in line. Dmitri Young had some issues before he came to the Nats but has been fine since he arrived, and is a fan favorite. Apparently Church is going to start for the Mets in right field. Sorry Mets, welcome to suck.

The only bad part about the trade is that the Nats gave up Brian Scheider, a gritty catcher who, unlike Church, got a lot of clutch hits. He also seemed to handle the pitching staff well. I guess that means youngster Jesus Flores will catch. Flores was decent offensively in his limited time, but I thought Schneider was better with the pitchers and defensively.

And apparently the Nats are looking into Andruw Jones and Corey Patterson, which would be cool.

But who cares, Church is gone!