Chromeo - "You're So Gangsta"

so this isn't really a video, but it's the best I can find. I am loving this jam lately. Chrome-o-o-o-o-o.

Rant: I hate ads about surprise cars with bows

You suck, Lexus

So I hate ads about cars with bows. Supposedly, people buy a car for a loved one and surprise them with it, often involving some elaborate or (supposedly) cute trick, like kids opening a giant box or lifting a giant Christmas stocking to reveal the car with a giant bow. There's so many of these ads on TV, and they suck.

The entire premise is bogus. They're trying to make it seem like it's this common, normal thing, everybody gives surprise cars with giant bows -- but they don't. They're too big and complicated for that, there are so many decisions you'd need to make for it to be the perfect car for the recipient. It's hard enough to buy clothes as presents, but a car?

What if you spent $30,000 on a surprise car, but the person really wanted another car, or another color, or another year, or some other option you didn't get? You'd have to talk to the recipient endlessly about what they want in a car, and then it'd be pretty obvious that they're going to get a car, which would thus ruin the fun. You'd need to check all the different reviews of the cars too, but you wouldn't be able to tell or ask the person what the good things and bad things about the car are ahead of time.

And anyway, who spends $30,000 on a Christmas present? Or are they just marketing to rich people?

Why not just go to the dealership together and pick one out? The only time I'd ever think a surprise would work is for an old or classic car. This guy loves red '67 Chevy Impalas, so I bet he'd be happy with a present of one. However, all these ads are for new car surprises, not old ones.

The giant bows are also bogus. I don't think anybody actually puts a giant bow on their surprise car present, assuming they actually exist. And where would you even get one? There are some web sites, of course, but it looks like they're mainly aimed at car dealers. (Related, that website is for a company based in Wapwallopen, Pennsylvania. What a weird name.)

The entire premise is dumb. They're trying to create this fake tradition to sell cars. No thanks.

I Watch Every Ski Movie, Episode 3: Ski Wolf

so continuing my quest to watch every ski movie brings me to Ski Wolf. I've watched about a dozen and Ski Wolf is one of the worst.

It's barely a movie. It's basically a group of friends with a camcorder goofing around on ski slopes. In fact, there's not even an IMDB page for it, to show you how homemade it is.

The movie comes from Low Budget Pictures, which is sort of a knock-off (reallllly knock-off) Troma, with other titles like Teenape Vs. The Nazi Monster Apocalypse, Terror at Blood Fart Lane, Moist Fury, and so on. Some of the characters in Ski Wolf are in the other movies too. An example is Marge, a 20ish girl who wears 80s glasses, a wig, has a pillow under her shirt and talks in a weird voice. Apparently that's the character, not the character pretending to be in costume. Which gives you an idea of the level of this movie.

The plot, if you want to call it that, is that a few friends go to a ski resort somewhere to hang out with their uncle, who is clearly the same age as everybody else). The uncle is being forced to sell the place to a jerky guy. One of the friends turns into a wolf, who everyone thinks is awesome for some reason, and in the end he kills the jerky guy.

In between the guy turning into a wolf, a bunch of things happen for no reason. For example, a couple of ogre-looking guys show up for no reason and do nothing, a couple of bands play (including ska), and there's a very awkward 10-minute sex scene with the wolf and a woman, who are joined mid-way through, again for no good reason, by two of the other characters. (The Making Of feature on the DVD, which is longer than the movie itself, reveals the woman in the sex scene to be an internet porn star.)

And throughout the entire movie the characters do and say things that make no sense and usually aren't funny. My friends and I were saying "what?" "why?" and so on out loud about every 30 seconds

That's basically it. If you watch the Making Of (we were very bored) you sort of get the sense of the personalities of the people in it, which helps a bit, but still, it's really terrible.

That said, it's still better than Ski Trippin', at least because this movie used microphones and was fairly well-lit, and they actually ski (a little).

But really, don't watch it. The only way I can think think this would be watchable would be if you are under the influence of illegal drugs, but I would hope you have something better to do in that case. Like sleep.

And here's the trailer, for whatever reason.

Music Jam: Pomplamoose

so my friend Kate told me about this band, it's a unsigned duo from the Bay Area called Pomplamoose, a play on pamplemousse, the French word for grapefruit. They're kind of girly, but undeniably catchy and fun and stuff. And it helps that the lead singer has a great, jazzy voice and is pretty gorgeous. I bet so many dudes fell in love.

Here's one I like, and there a ton more on their Youtube page.



They do little stories after the songs too. Here's their Myspace, Twitter and Wikipedia page.

My new favorite record label: Turquoise Jeep

So my friend sent me this video, for "Lemme Smang It" by Yung Humma ft. Flynt Flossy. Amazing.



I like how the words appear on the screen in different fonts. One of the best Youtube comments is "dude's got permanent rapeface on." And the record label is called Turquoise Jeep Music. Amazing. (Flynt Flossy appears to be Charlie Murphy, Eddie's bro.)

They have a bunch of other awesome jams too. For example, "Sex Syrup" by Slick Mahony ft. Yung Humma:



"Cavities" by Flynt Flossy, Pretty Raheem, and Whatchyamacallit.



Love Pretty Raheem's hair.

"Fried or Fertiziled" is another good one, as is "Stretchy Pants." Here's the commercial for their album, which I will 100% buy.



Pretty much all the other songs are amazing too.

Carlos Allen: that's my jam

so this guy Carlos Allen is running for mayor of DC. He seems like a weird guy and he claims to be the "first Afro-Latino in history." Apparently his platform is that he stands near people:



Plus he crashed that White House party along with the Salahis:

My new favorite TV show

so here's my new favorite TV show. Apparently it was just a pilot, however.



Here's more about it.

Cereal

so here are a bunch of cereal commercials.











I ate all of these.

Chromeo and Daryl Hall: "Tenderoni"

so I'm going to see Chromeo today at the the 9:30 Club. Hopefully Daryl Hall will be there too:

I am bad to the bone

so last night I went to live band karaoke at Wonderland (a cool bar in my neighborhood, if you're not familiar.) I sang George Thorogood and the Destroyers' "Bad to the Bone." Unfortunately it doesn't sound too good on this cameraphone recording, but it was a lot of fun and I think people enjoyed it.

The drummer asked if I rehearsed and some random person said it was a skillful version, which is probably the first time my singing and skill have ever been used in the same sentence. I am terrible at singing on Rock Band, for example.

Anyway, prepare to have your minds blown: